Together and Resting at Last

Today was hard for me.  They have set the stone on Joshua's grave and he chose to have his sister Micah's name beside his.  It is the first time we have been able to remember her on her birthday.  I have always regretted that we did not choose burial and had no place to go for her.  We took flowers, white for both and a few sprigs of blue for Joshua and pink for her on her birthday.  I took the small teddy bear we were given when she was born at the hospital.  I gave it back to her today.  I miss them both but rejoice that they are together.   As we took pictures I thought that my children were all close together today.  How bittersweet it was to be there.  It was good to do this and feel that we had finally finished all the things we needed to for Joshua.  I truly know he is at peace and with his sister.  I am so grateful for this knowledge, it carries me on hard days.
We are happy, we look for joy in all we do daily.  I have completed a memory wall in our front room with pictures and memory items for Joshua.  Anyone who would like to see it is welcome to come by anytime.  I want to tell you that things are great but we are still sad so much.  Going to the cematary today broke my heart but felt like the right thing to do.  I feel like Micah is finally resting and at peace.  It makes me so happy to think of the two of them together.
We love you all and are so grateful for the continued support as we navigate this confusing road.  I hope you don't mind a few pictures.

One Last Post

  Today is the Sabbath and a quiet day to reflect.  I have so many emotions.  The most important is gratitude for my Heavenly Father.  I have thought so much about my children and the precious gift they are.  I have 2 children that are safe and with their Savior.  I know they laugh and are doing wonderful.  They are healthy and happy and they have done all they need to on the earth.  I think of them both often and remember all that Joshua taught us on his journey.  I am grateful for Micah and that she was willing to be the first.
  I also look at the 4 special children still with us.  They are amazing.  They have handled this with grace and strength beyond my own.  I listen for their laughter and pray they have joy.  Yesterday we drove to Brigham City to go to the temple with the children and it was so much fun.  We stopped at a couple of fruit stands and bought apples and peaches and had fresh peach shakes.  We made jokes and teased and it was wonderful.  When we came home we went to a farm and picked tomatoes and bell peppers and beans.  It made me so happy to have fun.
  What I want to say is that some days are sad and will be for a long time.  Some days are busy and some days are frustrating.  But if there is one thing I hope we will all learn and remember it is that family is everything.  The family with us today, the family of our childhood, the anscestors we never met.  They hold us together and we need to make time for them.  Joshua knew that family was everything and he loved fiercely!  Our family is now smaller but amazingly enough it so much bigger.  Old friends and new, we are blessed beyond measure.  I pray you will all love your family more tomorrow than today and always treasure them.  We treasure you!

Information

I would like to give the final arraignments and information that many of you have asked for.  I am sorry that I have not responded personally but I am overwhelmed right now.  I love you all.


Ok, here  it goes:

There is a viewing on Friday night from 6 - 8
Another viewing on Saturday morning from 9-10 and the funeral will begin at 10:30
All of these activities are at the Clearfield South Stake center. 
The address is 2186 South 125 West Clearfield UT
It is on 2200 South just West of Main street

Please let me say again,  ALL are welcome and we are excited to gather to celebrate Joshua's incredible life.

The funeral home is Lindquist Mortuaries   Their website is lindquistmortuary.com
that is were Joshua's obituary will be.

If you wish to send flowers you can call Jimmys flowers in Layton at  801-773-8400, ask for Susan Richey

We are holding on right now with your prayers and love and are sooo grateful for everything and all  the support we are being given.

The End and a New Beginning

On Saturday Josh took a turn for the worse.  He began to slip in and out of consciousness.  We called our Bishop and Stake President and they came.  He didn't seem to know them but then our Stake President put his hands on Josh and gave him a blessing.  At the end Josh clearly said Amen and Thank you.  Those were his last words.  He lingered for one more day so our family could quietly spend the Sabbath together and then this morning at 10:30 he left us.  He fought hard for every breath and never gave up.  It was very hard to see him struggle and broke my heart but I could not be prouder of him.   Within minutes of his passing the kids in the neighborhood heard and came.  What a joyous site to see his body finally resting and 8 or 9 teenagers standing around him quietly visiting.  When the adults came in they all went to the kitchen and polished off 2 containers of ice cream and every popsicle we had!  How Josh would have loved that.

We now look to the future.  Joshua is were he belongs and no longer hurts.  I know he is at peace and I am so grateful to know that I will see him again.  We are having a funeral on Saturday at 10:30 and I will post the address and info later.  We are asking everyone to come.  This is a day for family and friends and we want you all to be a part of it.  If you can come we have plenty of room for you to stay.  Our wonderful ward family has offered their homes and we have room for everyone, please let me know.
We are grateful to know that Heavenly Father loves us.  He loves Josh and I know he is proud of him.  I could not let him go if did not know that he was loved and is being cared for by his Heavenly Father.  He rests with his sister Micah and other family.  I have longed for my children to meet my father and today Joshua did.  We are peaceful and sad and grateful all at the same time.  We ask for continued prayers and welcome all to come visit.  We love you.  Joshua loved you too.

Waiting

Time is standing still.  Hospice sent a doctor to examine Josh because the nurse is seeing conflicting signals.  He shows signs of decline but doesn't really change.  Parts of his body are dying but his heart beats on.  The doctor shrugged her shoulders and said he is young and has a strong heart.  It is hard now, he suffers.  He is sick in the morning and sleeps all day.  He gets up for food because we make him to keep him from getting sores but then goes back to sleep.  When he is awake he gets restless and cant figure out what he wants.  Yesterday he cried himself to sleep in the late afternoon because he could not settle down.  
The doctor said it right, he has a strong heart.  He is still making a difference for others and I am grateful for his strength.  It breaks my heart to see him suffer but I know that Heavenly Father knows best and I must be patient.  His favorite thing now is on Sunday when the priests (that is the boys his age) come over for their lesson to our house and bring us the sacrament.  He can't always stay awake but he musters up the strength for that and loves it.  What wonderful young men they are to care for him and keep him part of the group.
We are amazed by the support we have been shown.  So many people have cared for our family and are trying to help us.  We don't even know how to say thank you anymore, it seems so little for all we have been given.  I am humbled and want to remember all of this. Thank you.
We don't know what tomorrow will bring but we will follow Joshua's lead and hold him tight for as long as we can.

Changing Times

Josh is beginning to drift away.  He sleeps till noon and then sits for about an hour and then goes back to sleep.  If we are lucky we get a couple of hours at dinner time and then he is back to sleep.  He can no longer stand without assistance.  Activities out of the house are not possible now and we are asking that if you want to visit please call first to see how he is doing.   He still wants to see people but we don't want to stress him now.  We think he still has a little time because his vitals are stable and he is still eating but that time is short and we will keep you posted as it moves forward.

We are grateful for all the fun we have had and the memories we have made in the last 2 months.  We feel the love of so many people and especially the love of our Heavenly Father.  We are as ready as we can be to begin this new part of the journey.  We plan to take it one day at a time and let Josh lead us.  We have talked to him about the next steps and given him our blessing to go and we are listening to the spirit for guidance.  I know that our Savior is close as we move forward. 

I have a testimony that God loves our family and has a plan for Joshua.  I am so grateful to be his mother and walk with him on his journey.  I will never be the same but I pray to be better because of him.  I also pray that the many people he continues to touch will feel the same and come closer to Heavenly Father.  In a world of hate and anger I want everyone to learn to love like Joshua does, simple and pure.

Please come visit if you can and we will be glad to see you.  480-720-9856

Highs and Plateaus

     Well I am not sure what to say today.  So much has happened but nothing has changed.  We have had some really high moments in the last several weeks.  We went on a helicopter ride and horseback riding and even got to ride in a side car with the coolest bikers ever to Antelope Island.  We have been to 2 more temples to do baptisms (Logan and Provo City Center).  We loved everything we have done and it has been amazing.  The highlight for Josh was a visit from a member of the seventy, for our friends that don't belong to our church that is a general authority.  He was sent by our prophet to visit our family and Joshua.  As a mother I can only say I am proud because I could see how impressed he was with Joshua and his love of the gospel.  It was a powerful visit and we were left with a strong sense of love and support from our church.  He gave Josh and Gordon and Ted ties.  They are a solid color and have what appear to be dots on them.  When you look closer they have panda bears all over them.  Elder Sabin says no one can be unhappy with a panda.
     On the other side of the coin we are unchanged healthwise.  He is very tired and confused sometimes.  He is just going day by day.  We have increased his medicine to help with some pain he is having.  His legs hurt at night and he is getting more anxious so we added meds to help with both and he is doing well.
     I sometimes wonder as his mother about the purpose of this time.  I don't want him to suffer and I know he is ready but I see the work he is doing here now.  He rarely goes anywhere without touching someone.  I see that others still need him and so do we so I am grateful for this time.  I am grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord, I see how all this is all working for a purpose so I am trying to be patient and see where it leads us.  We are sooo grateful for the friends we are making and have already around us.  We have been getting letters and gifts for Josh from around the world from our wonderful biker friends and they make me cry.  Josh loves it and in the end that is all that really matters.  Please go hug your families and do something they want to do that you think you don't have time for.  As Josh would say - Have At It!