Waiting

Time is standing still.  Hospice sent a doctor to examine Josh because the nurse is seeing conflicting signals.  He shows signs of decline but doesn't really change.  Parts of his body are dying but his heart beats on.  The doctor shrugged her shoulders and said he is young and has a strong heart.  It is hard now, he suffers.  He is sick in the morning and sleeps all day.  He gets up for food because we make him to keep him from getting sores but then goes back to sleep.  When he is awake he gets restless and cant figure out what he wants.  Yesterday he cried himself to sleep in the late afternoon because he could not settle down.  
The doctor said it right, he has a strong heart.  He is still making a difference for others and I am grateful for his strength.  It breaks my heart to see him suffer but I know that Heavenly Father knows best and I must be patient.  His favorite thing now is on Sunday when the priests (that is the boys his age) come over for their lesson to our house and bring us the sacrament.  He can't always stay awake but he musters up the strength for that and loves it.  What wonderful young men they are to care for him and keep him part of the group.
We are amazed by the support we have been shown.  So many people have cared for our family and are trying to help us.  We don't even know how to say thank you anymore, it seems so little for all we have been given.  I am humbled and want to remember all of this. Thank you.
We don't know what tomorrow will bring but we will follow Joshua's lead and hold him tight for as long as we can.